Putin on the Ritz – Other Resorts

From Edgar Cayce reading 3976-8:

15. (Q) From the general trend of events, what is to be expected in the struggle between Great Britain and India?

(A) Great Britain is LOSING an excellent fight. Non-resistance is hard to be broken!! [Mohandas Gandhi] As to whether those peoples will REMAIN, or whether the prayers and supplications of others will be with those, depends upon individuals.

16. (Q) What can be expected in the trend of events in the political and economic conditions in Europe?

(A) Europe is as a house broken up. Some years ago there was the experience of a mighty peoples being overridden for the gratification and satisfaction of a few, IRRESPECTIVE of any other man’s right. That peoples are going through the experience of being born again, and is the thorn in the flesh to many a political and financial nation in Europe, in the world – but out of same, with the prayers and supplications of those that may pray – even as Abram, or Abraham – “If there be fifty, will it not be spared?” “O, if there be ten faithful, will it not be spared?” Then, the hope of Europe depends upon YOU! in your own home TODAY! In not the same WAY, but the same MANNER as did the life of Lot, or of the other peoples in Sodom and Gomorrah.

17. (Q) What is the name of that nation referred to?

(A) Russia!

According to Cayce Russia has historically overridden people’s basic rights, for the selfish gratification of a few, causing the resurrected karma to trouble political and financial spheres in Europe, and the world, lifetimes later.

Some people are slow learners, and, with his recent annexation of the Crimean peninsula, Russian president Vladimir Putin is effectively trying to take the world retrograde again.

The following was born out of the spirit of non-resistance in accordance with principles of Mohandas Gandhi.  It was conceived with the thought of making it an Avaaz.org petition but has not yet been deployed as such.  Feel free to use it in this manner if you feel so moved.  This must necessarily be a historically one-time, one-of-a-kind, petition because rewarding retrograde behaviour isn’t a tenable precedent.  You’re very special President Putin!

Note to prospective service related business signators:  In order to help enable this petition as a contract, please include the frequency and duration that you’d be of service to Vladimir Putin.  While this petition primarily seeks service providers if donating goods please specify clearly and if donating cash please specify the currency and sum.  Persons unable to make a serious donation please refrain.

Please forward this to people you know who have something to offer the world.

Petition to Grant Services to

Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin,

President of Russia

Evidently you desire land.  While we would otherwise encourage the world’s population to send you their compost, for its optimal “freshness”, in order to fulfill your wishes, it’s apparent that your heart most desires less generic types of land.

Evidently the soil that you prefer is the therapeutic clay and pure, white, quartz, beach sand of the Crimean region and, more particularly, the peninsula’s palaces, villas, and dachas situated thereupon.

This love of resorts is also evident in your recent building of the $50B resort, including high-rise luxury condos, on Sochi swamp land.

In these the appreciation for luxury, once shared with ousted Ukranian President, and accused mass-murderer, Viktor Yanukovych, is most apparent.  If seeking luxury accommodation is what you most desire then we feel that the least harmful recourse is to just give it to you.

Therefore we, the purveyors of the world’s luxuries, would like to offer you, Vladimir, your ex-wife, Lyudmila, your two daughters, Mariya and Yekaterina Putina, and your dogs Koni and Buffy (where permitted) free resort accommodation, and other luxury services, exclusively if you, immediately and permanently, stop trying to annex resorts as part of your desire for them.  The duration that these high quality worldwide amenities shall be at your disposal free of charge, will be from the time that Russian troops exit the Ukraine until as long as you, Vladimir, shall live so long as you never try to claim another non-Russian resort as your own.

When staying at these resorts you need not bring any of your 11 luxury watches in order to enjoy relief from the stress of never quite knowing exactly what time it is.

We, the undersigned, are the owners and operators of luxury resorts, spas and hotels as well as other luxury amenity services including, but not limited to:

  •         Limousine, Hummer, aircraft, yacht, train, helicopter, hovercraft, hot-air-balloon, hydrofoil, blimp, zeppelin, carriage, rickshaw, wheelchair, gurney, wheelbarrow, dolly, piggy-back and fireman’s carry transportation services.
  •        Doorman Services
  •        Quality food services including haute cuisine restaurants, and pastry, cupcake, cookie, specialty dessert and chocolate shops
  •        Butler, maid (with Lyudmila’s permission), and cooking services including, but not limited to:
  1. Lint removal, breath & body odour smelling, powdering, perfuming and jewelry adorning services.
  2. Cigar and pipe lighting, holding, ashtray and extinguishing services
  3. Sycophant services including verbal flattery, joke laughing, physical back-patting and slapping, cheer leading, bowing, curtseying, applauding and hugs.
  4. Dog petting and playing services        
  5. Laundry, valet, dressing (and dress up) and shoe polishing, holding, tying and removal services
  6. Back scratching and tickling (with Lyudmila’s permission) services
  7. Leg ups for any vertical access required or bodily lifting for an improved view
  8. Lickable blender whisk provision, crust-removal, food seasoning, saucing, cutting, spooning, forking, tasting and feeding, as well as fanning, spittoon, brow-dabbing and mouth-wiping services
  9. Bathroom valet services including mirror holding and teeth brushing
  10. Reading and bed-time story services including calming, explaining, tucking in, pillow fluffing, and lullaby singing
  •        Concierge, and shopping services
  •        Photography, film, and ‘gem’ transcription services including carte blanche freedom to shirt strip for cameras any time, any place.
  •        Fitness facility, judo dojo, and other fitness services including sweat-wiping and dabbing and encouragement shouting

  •       Access to masculine recreational sports and services including equestrian adventure, American football, bull-riding, alligator wrestling, motocross & mountain biking, hang-gliding, hockey, lacrosse, boxing, sky-diving, base jumping (including wingsuit base jumping) and “anything goes” cage match wrestling
  •       Attendance at real American motorcycle rallies
  •       Hair, nail salon, massage, face-lift and make-up services including any such required as to try to maintain a scary-looking countenance with advancing age
  •       Music & entertainment (with Lyudmila’s permission) services
  •       Stalin-style dancing entertainment services
  •       Admission to free wine-tasting events
  •       Camping and wilderness excursion services including fish-kissing
  •       Doggy salon, pet spa, and animal communication services
  •       Nice things to look at services (with Lyudmila’s permission)
  •       Nice things to touch and feel services (with Lyudmila’s permission)
  •       Nice smell services including cinnamon!
  •       Balloon blowing services (both rubber and soap)
  •       Self-indulgence brainstorming services
  •       Wit services
  •       And pampering and coddling of all manners and types (Don’t be afraid to ask)

Cash and goods (such as lingerie and sundries), for servants to hold and carry, could also be available depending on material offers proffered.  Any paper money offered will be previously washed and ironed.

Latvian signators should not confuse President Putin’s acceptance of this offer with his previous offer of the “ears of an ass” in leau of Latvia’s remaining Russian-annexed territory.

No one person or organization will be required to fulfill all of the above and body guarding, for any of the foregoing, is not included.

Each service comes with a continuance of the same Exemption from Communist Equality Ideals that Centrists currently enjoy.

 Forget the political party.  It’s time for a real party!

 

If you think the song and dance above has been elaborate check out the world’s only known state funded “cashmob”:

 In Russia, Ritz puts on you.

The production values of this highly choreographed video are EXTREMELY high.  Multiple cameras have been deployed including at least 2 on cranes and from one helicopter.  The dancers are professional and, in all probability, the bystanders are paid extras.  The last two repetitions of the refrain, at the end of the video, have been said to have been changed from “Puttin on the Ritz” to “Putin molodyets!” (Good job, Putin!).

The song choice of this Moscow Boys Choir Debut wasn’t likely influence-free either.

Trying as hard as possible I’m still unable to outperform this man’s genuine incredible vanity and his total lack of comprehension of the value of freedom.

Плохая работа, Путин!

Humans:  Birds don’t see borders, fish don’t see borders, and children don’t see borders.  In brief, life, from bacteria to collective, doesn’t observe non-existent borders.  And life is right.  This sub-child ignorance is way too prominent in the tribal cultures on your planet.

 

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